[Well The Captain would be surprised, dropping his bottle of whiskey. It would shatter on the ground as he stumbled into a wall, unable to brace himself because of his broken arm.]

☠☠☠☠ what is wrong with my ☠☠☠☠ arm!?

Beyond and their ☠☠☠☠ superwood and this ☠☠☠☠ place and what the ☠☠☠☠ are you doing in my house?

[He wasn't even in the house...]