Bender 2

[hisnameisthecaptain]

 

[[ Location: IN YOUR HOME ]]

[The Captain is in your home.  Yes your home.  He is a haggard looking man.  He has one arm in a sling, having recently broken it upon entering Mayfield.

It seems The Captain is very drunk.

Any of these things are possible:

--There is an empty bottle of liquor on your living room floor.  Your front door is open and he is currently searching your kitchen for a late night snack or another bottle of alcohol. 

--He is laying on your couch, smelling of booze with a half empty bottle in his good hand.  He is moaning and groaning about something.  You hear the name Beyond and Tabitha.  Again the front door is wide open.

--He is in your garage, so very lost.  Knocking things over and cursing loudly as he crashes around.

--He is in your back yard arguing with your tree.  He'll throw his bottle of booze at it and then get very upset over not having anymore booze.

Do as you would if any of these events happened at your house.]

Comments

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

[Will roll off the couch and crash face first in the carpet.]

☠☠☠☠ stupid ☠☠☠☠ arm ☠☠☠☠ superwood.

[bornwithskison.livejournal.com]

_[side-step!]

How did you get in here.

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

[Muttering into the carpet.]

I went home. Everyone tells me to go ☠☠☠☠ home. So I went the ☠☠☠☠ home.

☠☠☠☠ Beyond and this whole ☠☠☠☠town.

[bornwithskison.livejournal.com]

This isn't your house. It's mine.

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

[Will roll over and look up at the guy who was spinning with the rest of the room.]

What do you mean this isn't my ☠☠☠☠ house? Who the ☠☠☠☠ are you?

[bornwithskison.livejournal.com]

Norway. You're on Kramden Road.

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

[Remains on his back, now even more confused.]

How the ☠☠☠☠ did I end up in Norway? What the ☠☠☠☠ is going on here?

[bornwithskison.livejournal.com]

No--I'm Norway. We're in America.

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

How the ☠☠☠☠ are you in Norway? That's like Canada? Am I at like ☠☠☠☠ Niagra falls? Where the ☠☠☠☠ is the waterfall?

[bornwithskison.livejournal.com]

I'm the personification of Norway--And yeah, I guess. But we're nowhere near the falls. We're in Mayfield. And you're on my couch.

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

So what? Are we in ☠☠☠☠ Mexico or Brazil? You got one of those ☠☠☠☠ houses that borders two places? So which country is the couch in?

[bornwithskison.livejournal.com]

United States. And in America. But I live in this house.

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

So you live in America?

[bornwithskison.livejournal.com]

Unwillingly.

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

So why aren't you speaking Mexican if your from Norway?

[bornwithskison.livejournal.com]

Jeg snakker ikke spansk.

_{['I don't speak Spanish.']}

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

How do you say, "Where am I?" in Mexican?

[bornwithskison.livejournal.com]

That wasn't--I was speaking Norwegian.

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

Like the ☠☠☠☠ Swedes speak?

I saw a porno once with ☠☠☠☠ Swede girls...
Or was that Swiss?

How does a Swede get a job in pornos anyways? Do you guys just ☠☠☠☠ come to America and ask the first guy you see if he'll film it?

[bornwithskison.livejournal.com]

Swedes speak Swedish.

...I wouldn't have a clue.

_{[s-sob people are so weird.]}

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

Then what to Norwedgians do?

[Would now slowly push himself to sit up stuck in this line of conversation like a child.]

[bornwithskison.livejournal.com]

Speak Norwegian.

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

Norway is ☠☠☠☠ boring....

[bornwithskison.livejournal.com]

No I'm not. I was a viking.

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

Nobody likes the Vikings, they're a terrible team...