The Captain

[Everyone's favorite drunken super hero makes another call.

He wanted to filter it, he truly did. He failed miserably.]

[Phone | Fail-filtered.]

Elsa, Tabby... We need to talk.

I really didn't want to tell you this but... back home is ☠☠☠☠ and there was nothing we could do.

[After being murdered horrifically, again, The Captain will spend the morning drinking the dead man’s hangover away. Sometime tonight, he sobers up and gives a call to the town.]

[[Phone | Unfiltered]]

“Hey, Mayfield.

Anyone else meet a psycho ☠☠☠☠ and end up dead?

Also, it’s not all that surprising anymore. Honestly, it’s not even ☠☠☠☠ scary. I’ve died all sorts of ways and been droned quite a bit. It’s just getting old.

So, to those of you who think your scary, ☠☠☠☠ off. You got nothing that hasn’t been done here before. Stop trying, and start doing something useful. Or sit back and pretend like you matter.”

[So, maybe not entirely sober. Still, The Captain is no longer impressed.]