23rd Hangover - Why does this keep happening?

[hisnameisthecaptain]

[After being murdered horrifically, again, The Captain will spend the morning drinking the dead man’s hangover away. Sometime tonight, he sobers up and gives a call to the town.]

[[Phone | Unfiltered]]

“Hey, Mayfield.

Anyone else meet a psycho ☠☠☠☠ and end up dead?

Also, it’s not all that surprising anymore. Honestly, it’s not even ☠☠☠☠ scary. I’ve died all sorts of ways and been droned quite a bit. It’s just getting old.

So, to those of you who think your scary, ☠☠☠☠ off. You got nothing that hasn’t been done here before. Stop trying, and start doing something useful. Or sit back and pretend like you matter.”

[So, maybe not entirely sober. Still, The Captain is no longer impressed.]

Comments

[flameyedhunter.livejournal.com]

"Are you sober yet? I'd like to talk to you about a few things."

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm sober enough. What the ☠☠☠☠ do you want kid?

[flameyedhunter.livejournal.com]

"I was going to come over to your house and share what I've learned."

[weiss-tank.livejournal.com]

What the hell happened to you! [yes he's worried about you Captain]

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

Still trying to figure that one out.

I was pretty drunk, and saw this chic walking alone. Offered to walk her home and then I think a giant snake came out of the ground and vomited on me.

☠☠☠☠, maybe she stabbed me too. I was kinda worried about the fact that everything felt like burning.

[weiss-tank.livejournal.com]

What the fuck man...that's just messed up!

You ok?! Do you need anythin'?

[convallariaceae.livejournal.com]

Ahh, yes, isn't it sad when even death is dead? Fear of death keeps us from doing stupid things, but I suppose here we're free to do whatever stupid things we wish?

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

Yeah, whatever. It hurts but it isn't all that terrible. I mean not like Westport.

[convallariaceae.livejournal.com]

Oh, you ended up in that little town? Goodness that seems so so long ago.

What was your name again, dear? You sound a bit familiar...especially the ☠☠☠☠.

[sting-like-a.livejournal.com]

Dying kinda stinks, huh?

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

It's not a ☠☠☠☠ vacation but I've been through worse.

(Phone)

[shhhhh-secret.livejournal.com]

What do you mean, you died?

[Phone]

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

I mean I took a little nap and dreamt of flowers.

I ☠☠☠☠ got stabbed in the neck and ☠☠☠☠ died. What do you think I mean?

[imaginenumbers.livejournal.com]

... Captain... who did this?

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

I don't know, some crazy girl I hit on.

[brotherseyes.livejournal.com]

[There's a long silence on the other end of the line.

Nina is trying to decide what to say.]

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

Hello? This better not be a ☠☠☠☠ prank.

[sojackedup.livejournal.com]

You...died. And then came back.



The hell?

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

Yeah, you do that here.

It hurts, you feel like ☠☠☠☠ but then you wake up in the morning good as new.

So yeah, you don't get out that easy.

[lamingtons]

... You alright there, mate?

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm getting used to this ☠☠☠☠.

Oh yeah, avoid giant ☠☠☠☠ snakes and crazy women.

[bombbrat]

...you fucking died?

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I ☠☠☠☠ died. Stupid ☠☠☠☠ giant snakes.

[queening-square.livejournal.com]

Oh, but isn't the best part exactly thinking up new original fun ways of killing people when they think everything has been done already..?

[ But, you know, not like she can do anything in this place without her powers. ]

[heartstar-blues.livejournal.com]

No.

What is with this town and crazy ☠☠☠☠?